like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just took my morning after pill in the library
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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