All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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