I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize