I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Randomize
