Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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