my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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