i jhust puked up my retainher.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
