I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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