giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
