I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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