words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
You're like the curious george of whores
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I just want nice things and good sex
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
