Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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