Someone shit on the floor
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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