You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I'm going to jail i love you
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
