Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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