Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
