dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
