I think im going to throw up on grandma
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Okay Iโll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
Thatโs probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
