dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
