1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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