Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
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