i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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