This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
