yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
