So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
