Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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