It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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