Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
