woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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