a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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