Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Reggie can tackle my bush.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
