Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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