I'm going to rape someone's good day.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize