JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
