I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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