How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
