You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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