We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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