Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
