she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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