I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
