he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
