Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Randomize
