he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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