I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
