A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
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