the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
