just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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