She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
