Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
