he puts the penis in happiness.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
