can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm just crazy horny about you
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
