Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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