Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
