I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
