You're so nebulous sometimes
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
