My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
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