You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
