there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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