I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
