Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
