how can u be prego again
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
