Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
